Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
Written by Jack Thorne
Based on a story by J.K. Rowling, John Tiffany & Jack Thorne
I was not very excited for this book, mostly because I knew it had not been written by J.K. Rowling. However, I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt. The story had her consent, so it could not be that bad, right? It was bad. How so many people seem to like it I will never know. My disdain for the story roots from the horrendous treatment characters got, not only because their lives were not what I expected/assumed they would be, but because characters we have been shown with characteristics and certain feelings, got those traits completely erased in order to fit the narrative of the story, which is not that appealing in the first place.
Before I go on a non-spoiler rampage of all I despised with this “play”, I want to mention that quite a few things were not bad, but quite agreeable. Albus and Scorpious are both in Slytherin. I knew it was going to happen, one could simply tell, but it is nice to finally have two “main characters” in the house that once (and apparently still) was considered evil. As no one wanted to focus on Merlin, Slughorn, Regulus, Andromeda, and probably a bunch of other characters that were named but never given any characteristics. Which always leads me to this question: CAN SLYHTERINS JUST GET A BREAK???!!!
That aside, some of the dialogue by Draco Malfoy, as well as some of his conversations with the Golden Trio seemed quite accurate, yes, even that acclaimed exclamation all over Tumblr about him loving being bossed around by Hermione Granger. My favourite scene was one in which Draco is distraught by a “plot-twist”, as his son and Albus are “missing”. “DRACO: I don’t care what you did or who you saved, you are a constant curse on my family, Harry Potter.” It tells the perfect relationship the Potter and Malfoy families seem to have here, and it seems to trod along with the belief of a few people as well, no matter how good Harry was (and he was/is), many people gave their lives for him, and that is a curse, even though it helped the Wizarding World. There is also a small snippet of what it ight be like to be Draco: “It is exceptionally lonely, being Draco Malfoy. I will always be suspected. There is no escaping the past.” No matter how much one might run, the past will always catch up with them, yet, it does not have to be the end. And finally, we have the fun scenes that demonstrate the wittiness that Draco possesses:
“Draco: Flipendo! … Keep up, old man.
Harry: We’re the same age, Draco.
Draco: I wear it better.”
The one other thing was how Ron and Hermione’s love transpired everything. It showed that no matter in which world, they were meant for each other.
That is all I enjoyed. Now, onto the things I disliked.
Characters that were done a disservice, since their essence was butchered: Hermione, McGonagall, Harry, Ron, Astoria, Draco, Scorpious, Albus, Rose, Bellatrix, Voldemort, and perhaps a couple more. Yes, even Bellatrix and Voldemort. I will only go into detail for a couple, and at the end of the review I will go into the spoiler-filled destroyed characters.
Let us begin with the most obvious one, Hermione Jean Granger. Do we all remember S.P.E.W.? How this little, almost non-existent organization, showed Hermione as a person who valued everyone’s lives as equal, whether they were lowly elves, giants, werewolves, centaurs. But for some reason, the protector of magical creatures has not found a way to at least, keep the peace between them and humans. No, she seems rather incompetent when it comes to that, particularly when we are given her position in the government. Also, her logic is severely flawed here, in almost all aspects.
Then we get one of the biggest disappointments, Rose Granger-Weasley. The daughter of two brave and good-hearted people, who value family and friendship above everything, abandons her cousin simply because he belongs to another house. Rose gave me the impression that she was a version of Pansy, someone I would hate to be in school with. We all know that in this version of events, Scorpious and Albus are bullied for who they are, and Rose does nothing to stop this, perhaps she does not even tell her parents of what is going on. To this day, I imagine Rose as a clever girl with a kind-heart, someone that loves her family, and who fights for her friends, like her father, who stood in front of Harry so he would not be hurt. Like her mother, who never gave anything away, even under the Cruciatus curse. Here she seems to be following popularity, even at the cost of her loved ones. That is not the daughter the two wonderful heroes would raise.
“How to distract Scorpius from difficult emotional issues. Take him to a library.” The one accurate thing that I imagined would ever be authentic about the son of Malfoy in this book. Scorpious and Albus’ life is a disaster, simply because of the house they belong to, as I seriously doubt it has anything to do with their families. Status is not something that is simply lost after certain events, it is a way of thinking and living, and no matter how much many try to change it, it requires time. Therefore, I will never believe that a Malfoy would loose the status that they have had for centuries, considering that they did not loose it after the first war, and that Narcissa basically saved Harry from death. It made no sense, particularly after they were pardoned and married a non-purist pureblood family. Also, a Potter being mistreated because he is in Slytherin? Even after Slytherins themselves fought at the Battle of Hogwarts? Even though he has done nothing to deserve dislike except for his horrendous name? No.
The second greatest fall of this work is the plot, as it was mostly, useless. Of all the things to bring to the story, the one they went with is the one that leaves everything with nothing that should be touched upon again. I expected better, I wish I had gotten it.
When I have children, I will give them the seven Harry Potter books, and when they are done and ask for more, I will gladly tell them to go read fanfiction, and I will never mention this book exists. I do not have time for some of my favourite, and the most iconic characters ever, to be obliterated before their eyes. I am not that cruel.
I hope you all enjoyed it much more than me.
-Bellatrix and Voldemort had a kid!!! How??? Voldemort hated dying so much, that instead of creating an heir, he split his soul so he could live forever. The man that died as a human, but did not live as one, would not have sex with his crazy follower, it would be too much of a reward for Bellatrix. Voldemort is not merciful at all, giving Bellatrix something she most likely wanted would be an undeserved award, he would never grant it. He would also never have sex, it leaves him too unguarded.
-Astoria dies. Will Draco ever get a break? Will he ever have a good life? After all the stuff he went through, from being a spoiled bully, to a troubled and unwilling Death Eater, to a man who chooses to raise his son without prejudices, he still does not get a “happy ending”. He was not with Hermione, and I was okay with it as long as he was content, I am sure he was not so much after his wife died, and his son was bullied.
-Ron giving a love potion to a kid? After he had been drugged with one as a kid? No, he has more sense than that. Ron is not a mumbling idiot, no matter how much this book tries to make him seem.
-Harry threatens McGonagall and he still lives? I highly doubt she would have left him say more words after his insult.
-Hermoine becomes a Snape in one of the world versions, simply because she did not end up with Ron. She becomes bitter and cruel towards her students, all of her compassion gone, as if being with Ron would ruin her ambition and gentleness.
-The time travelling was idiotic. No matter how many people found plot holes related to time-turners and time travelling, which led to Rowling destroying all (except for two) of them in a battle, Jack Thorne thought it would be brilliant to use this as his plot, which he then conveniently used as another plot device by having Draco own the other time-turner. It seemed he was comfortable with what he was writing, rather than it being a challenge to the writer and reader alike.
I am sort of done ranting. I really, really hope that you guys enjoyed it much more than me.